( Recited in heavy Brooklyn-ese)
Roses are Red-ish,
My Town car is blue-ish.
Did I get a deal?
What do you think? I'm Jewish!
You should meet my son Harry,
Oy! He sent me a canary.
I cooked it in the soup,
Cause all it did was….ooop.
My grandkids? All Einsteins-
(My daughter married a Feinstein.)
My summer condo in Tampa Bay
Is much shtotier than the one in LA.
I had Esty do my face,
The little lines are, takeh, erased!
My nose already looks like a shikseh,
(For once, Marvin says the money was a mitzveh!)
When I walked into Sheel,
You shoulda’ seen their looks-
I’m telling you Shprintza,
It was “ fa-the books!”
-And don’t forget to call your poor Mommeh,
You know how hard she slaves,
She orders all your meals for you
And sends Mariana to clean your place.
Oy, kids these days, they have it made
They don’t know how hard things were
When we had only one midsized Cadilac
And we scrounged to buy our first fur.
When I think about how we scrimped and saved,
-We took taxi cab's when it was raining!
And all I ask is that you call, once in a while-
Of course, I’m not complaining…
( And remember, tata’le, when you go on a bus,
To always put on clean underwear,
In case you slip, gawdfabbid, on a posickle,
And you have to go to the hospital!)
Now go and make your mishpochah proud,