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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Toodle Strudle








Funny poem


Poodle strudel pumpkin noodle,
Lickity stickity pickity pie.
Paint my face with sweet potatoes.
Sing to me about blue skies,

Toodle doodle peas and noodles,
Tuna cake with crumble pie.
You’re as sweet as creamy spinach,
Served atop potato fry.

Pinkety trinkety linkety lay,
I don't know the words for
The things I would say.

Bobbledy gobbledy hobbledy hook,
Perhaps they exist in a fairytale book.

Flippity slippity lickety Lou,
I'm trying to say
How much I love you!

Ticklish picklish prickly pears,
I’ll give you my hand and my two golden ears.
I love you like gumdrops, I love you to tears,
Let’s fly to the moon for the next hundred years.

Dancily prancily twirlyish bright,
We’d have such great fun there
All day and all night.

Bumping and jumping and hopping along,
Across moonlight meadows
While singing this song;

Poodle strudel pumpkin noodle,
Lickity stickity pickity pie.
Paint my face with sweet potato,
Sing to me about blue skies.

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle more,
You're the one that I adore.
Sniggly wiggly cuddly queue,

This whole silly song is to say
I LOVE YOU!

Find Me





Please Find me where I'm hidden,
Look for me when I am gone.
Seek my spirit in the mountain clefts
With the first light of dawn.

Like an eagle, winging swiftly
Over heavens and blue seas,
I long to soar above this world,
Of divisiveness and grief.
And endless is my yearning  
For goodness, strength and peace.

Please carry me over mountain tops
When strength I have no more,
To bear the pain of wasted love,
And the wanton loss of war.

Then lay me down upon G-d's earth,
Beside this mountain stream,
Let wild flower grow over me,
As I drift in peaceful dreams.

Then, if you wish to find my spirit,
High upon this cliff you'll climb,
Behold majestic mountain range,
Where heaven and earth entwine.

You'll hear my sighing in the wind,
My laughter in the stream at play,
You’ll feel the warmth of my loving touch
In sunlight’s golden rays.

I was never here to stay,
But a spirit passing by,
An eagle soaring o'er mountain tops
On its way to Gods blue sky.

Good bye

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Dini Minie Miney Moe



Dini Minie Miny Moe

Happy birthday to you, my sweet Dini Girl,
Here’s something that you ought to know;
It’s been one of my best most incredible gifts
Just watching you blossom and grow.

Happy Birthday to you, my sweet darling rose,
You’re all that a mother could want,
You charming and funny and oh so, so dear,
(And your squash kugel sure hits the spot!)

I’m sending you blessings and love on this day,
I don’t know the words to convey,
How happy and proud you make this mother feel
Even from so  far away!

I know that sometimes we might disagree,
And we don't  always see eye to eye,
But I promise you this, from the depths of my heart;
 I know that your usually right.

Thank you for being the kind of real girl
Who can stand on her feet and say “No.”
When there’s something you don’t like, or don’t feel is alright,                                        
You don’t hide the truth ( as we all know!)

Your sense of pizazz is amazing and fresh
Your style’s like nobody else,
You’re bold and demure all at once…let me guess;
You’re my daughter, oh how did I guess?

My wish for you Dini, on this special day,
Is a year filled with wonder and joy,
Happiness, friendship and lots of good grades,
Extra money to buy a few toys.
(And maybe, just maybe, you could possibly consider
Dating some nice  Jewish boys….?)

I love you, I love you, my Dini, my girl,
I love you to bits, and some more !
If I had you here close I would squeeze you so tight,
You’re the sunshine that lights up my world!!

Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, your always in my heart
My Dini, my  jalapeno pepper-
Remember each day, that your mommy  adores you,
And wouldn’t trade for ‘nothin, Not EVER!!

(Each day I love you, better and better! )            
Happy Birthday Dini’leh-
You make me sooooo proud!


Yontif' Yenta (or Roses are Red-ish)




( Recited in  heavy Brooklyn-ese)

Roses are Red-ish,
My Town car is blue-ish.
Did I get a deal?
What do you think? I'm Jewish!

You should meet my son Harry,
Oy! He sent me a canary.
I cooked it in the soup,
Cause all it did was….ooop.
My grandkids? All Einsteins-
(My daughter married a Feinstein.)
My summer condo in Tampa Bay
Is much shtotier than the one in LA.

I had Esty do my face,
The little lines are, takeh, erased!
My nose already looks like a shikseh,
(For once, Marvin says the money was a mitzveh!)

When I walked into Sheel,
You shoulda’ seen their looks-
I’m telling you Shprintza,
It was “ fa-the books!”

-And don’t forget to call your  poor  Mommeh,
You know how hard she slaves,
She orders all your meals for you
And sends Mariana  to clean your place.  

Oy, kids these days, they have it made
They don’t know how hard things were
When we had only one midsized Cadilac
And we scrounged to buy our first fur.

When I think about how we scrimped and saved,
-We took taxi cab's when it was raining!
And all I ask is that you call, once in a while-
Of course, I’m not complaining…

Well, I gotta run, now, ‘cause Paysach is soon,
And  Gawd only knows how much there is to do.
(If I don’t reserve my Kosher Cruise spot now,
G’nendy K’neydle will  get my room!)

It’s been  wonderful schmoozing, Yankle,
Zei Gezint and take good care,
Don’t forget to kiss your Bobby, (there’s a little shmootz over ther,)
-Stop squirming and let me fix your hair!

So what’s a little spit?
We’re family, you shouldn’t care!
( And remember, tata’le, when you go on a bus,
To always put on  clean underwear,
In case you slip, gawdfabbid, on a posickle,
And you have to go to the hospital!)

Now go and make your mishpochah proud,
Earn a few impressive degrees,
An M.D. with an M.B.A.
For you should be a breeze.

Then you’ll make a ton of money,
Buy your wife and kids good things-
Fur coats, designer dresses
And a few gezinte rings.

But most of all, remember that
A heart of gold, a Jewish soul,
These are the most important things-

Give the Rabbi a nice big pledge,
And much nachas to the  family you’ll bring!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Banana Fudge




When you find me in a pile
Of broken glasss and paper trash,
And old brown leaves
from last year's trees,
You'll know just what to do;

Scoop me up
And throw me down
Into the compost heap that's round

The back behind the old wood fence,
It doesn't make much difference,
What gets piled in top of what,
Garbage a little, garbage a lot...

What matters is you did your job,
And now I'm in a great big blob,

Of decaying crud that smells like mud,
And looks like old banana fudge.

Don't pay much mind,
Nor spend your time
Thinking on what happens,
Over the course of time

To trash that sits all in a pile
Of your backyard, after a while;
The compounds all disintigrate,
The bonds that tie them liberate,

And that energy gets released,
Creating sources of new heat
Which accelerates the changing rate
At which matter dissipates.

And let's you know with one small whiff
That things are changing, it's as If
The compost pile has come to life,
Transforming before your very eyes

Into a life form ( yes, it stinks,)
But so much potential energy
Can be turned into a tree,
Or a botanic garden, green
With flowers that you've rarely seen.

So go ahead and toss me
Into your backyard heap,
Don't worry about what happens to me,
Nor lose your beauty sleep.

But don't be surprised
When you go outside,
And spring has arrived
And I've moved on.

And you're lovely pile of mud is gone,
Likewise your trash heap too,
The trash that's been there for so long
Just vanished into the blue.

And suddenly you look next door,
And gasp! Oh, what a shock,
Someones found me, all alone
And taken me from out back.

And now I'm a lovely daisy bed
All dotted with purple and white,
With a gorgeous beautiful potted plant
Bathing in sun's golden light.

And all my beauty, strength and grace
Those gifts you could not see,
Have blossomed and transformed into
This garden I call " me."

All That Glitters

Better to sleep on the floor
Of a hut,
With walls and a roof
Made of mud,

Than to slumber in fine linnen,
In a palace or a villa,
Whose walls are painted with blood.

If you think that all that glitters
Can be counted at the bank,
Then you're in, my friend, for quite a big surprise;

When you wake up in the morning,
To see the seeds you've sown,
And it's emptiness that hits you 'tween the eyes.

We're here and gone,
Just like a dream,
And what, after all do you find?

The seeds that you planted
Have blossomed and all grown,
Into what you see
Inside your children's eyes.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Circumference of a Hug



You ask " why do you love me?"
I ask  " why do you care?"
You ask " why do you spend your days, wishing I were there?"

You wonder how it's possible
Perhaps I'm just a nut
And my computations are the product
Of a random scatter plot.

 
Well, let me say just one small thing
As part of my defense:
I love you for all that which counts
And cuz your different!

No, it doesn't add up
When you tally one plus one,
But mathemetics of the heart
Turn cosine on it's bum.

You see, when calculating numbers with
The rules of heart plus heart
There is a subatomic force
that supercedes a quark

And  increases the ionic bond,
Squares the inverse of it's sum
And makes two indivisibles
Become a perfect one!

See, first you round up all that's good
And kind and precious too
Then times that by the will to try
To try out  something new.

Divide that by the differences
'Tween you and your friend, 
Subtract away the small mistakes
Then add the dividend.

You'll see that you have multiplied
The force that binds all  things
and keep people together
Like the "K" force of a spring

And cancells out the inverse
Of irrational mistakes
Flips negatives to positives
With exponential grace.

With just one small "I'm sorry"
all x- factors are replaced.

You see, the coefficient of relationships
Determines how much strength
You give life's unknown variables
And that which stays the same.

In life there's always ups and down
And change makes people scared,
But the theory of relationships
Says love can't be compared

To any quantifiable
force that can be found,
It's simply inexplicable!
Yet makes the world go round.

So, this is how to measure
The circumference of a hug
It's easier than pie r^2
To solve it you just plug....

A natural progression
(With statistical regression)
To the "y" of your reflection
Then the apply the whole expression
To the full f(x) of love.

It's not so enigmatic when 
You diagram the Ven of When  
Two singles come together and
The overlap begins.

It may not clearly  add up
Nor be mathematically sound
But darling,  when it comes to love
Your heart's the thing that counts!

Copyright  Lea Sternbach 2010. All rights reserved.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Queen Esmeralda, of Galapgos' Hidden Isle

They say there is a Princess fair,
With long blond locks- or short dark hair.
None have ever glimpsed her clear,
But we know princess Esmy's there.

Her hidden dark mysterious ways,
Beguile those who seek to praise.
You’ll never know just where she's at,
But that she's there - no one can spat.

She rules the great Galapagos isle
With iron fist and charming smile.
And though you may travel for many a mile,
To win her audience, you must stand trial.

The test to enter her royal court,
Demands a noble, pure, true heart.
An eye that seeks goodness, that’s hidden inside,
A heart that brings harmony, to where there was strife .

And still the bravest warriors fall,
When onto her highness they have called.
Because they did not love her true,
But sought her favors without due.

So listen, knights and naves alike,
Heed my wise and true advice!
If 'tis Queen Esmeralda’s you seek to know,
You must be prepared to show
A noble heart that's brave and true,
Loves kindest words and gestures, too.

If you do this, and she proves you true
Then with open arms she'll welcome you.
And you'll see wonders, like you’ve never seen,
Angels dancing with gossamer wings,
And every wonderful enchanted thing,
Purple mountains, aglow in sunset pink,
The waves, as they crash and thunder,
And roil, with echoes of the deep.
And the sweetest, dearest, most restful sleep.
All for winning the favor
Of Galapagos’ hidden queen.

The Tale of Sir Edward The Great

Gather Round dear welcome friends,
And you I shall you regale,
With the wondrous recounting
Of Great Sir Edward's tale.

Sir Edward ruled the British Isle,
His might renown over thousands of miles.
His brav'ry and conquests
Were sung in every hall,
Great noblemen revered him
Since they were very small.

And now the wonderful story
Of Sir Edwards mighty tale,
And the hapless myriad victims
That he mightily did impale:

Though merciless and wantonly
He did skewer them through the heart,
Not a single foe of Sir Edward's
Ever wished him to depart!

And though history doth pride itself
With stories of blood and gore,
The curious part of Sir Edwards’s tale
Is that his victims all begged for more.

Perhaps it was his big strong heart,
Perhaps some sorcerers trick,
But if you ask the ones he killed
They’ll say it was his.....
Enchanted stick.


And if ye listeners wish,
To measure Sir Edward's worth,
Measure not his size in length or height,
But in nobility, strength and...girth.

Ye maidens all ablushed,
With pale cheeks turned rosy red,
Don’t fret or try to hide the truth,
Don’t turn away your head.

'Tis fact; ye long for Sir Edward's sword
To slay you, to render you dead,
As you dream sweet dreams
Of Edward the Great
Come visiting in your ....head.

Fear not my friends
this story does not yet end
all ye who listen enwrapped.

For next you shall hear the amazing tale
When "Sir Edwards meets his match."

The Me in You

The me in you

Do you know how sad it is,
To find the one you love,
Just to have him tell you that
You're just not good enough?

Not good enough for gentle words,
Not good enough for peace,
Not good enough to care about
Even if you bleed.

Perhaps you've never loved someone
As much as I have done,
So much that when they say "go-way!"
You turn around and run.

And spend long lonely starless nights,
Wishing they were here,
While in your heart you hold them tight,
And whisper in their ear:

"I know that you still love me, dear,
'Know how I know it's true?
Cuz deep within my loving heart
There’s a part of you!"

And just as waters show the things,
From which a man can’t hide,
The heart of one who loves his friend,
Can see what’s there, inside:

Those things that have no rhyme or sense,
That whispered hearts confide,
About how neither space nor time
Shall ever them divide.

So if you wonder how I know
This love I feel is true,
Just look inside your inner heart...
And ask the me in you.

It's true.

Man on the moon

I'll meet you on the moon...

Do you know I miss you so,
Each time the moon shines bright,
Or when the sun streaks orange pink,
'Cross purple sunset skies?

Do you know I send my love
Up to the moon so bright,
And pray you catch it in your hands,
To hold all through the night?

When you’re away I toss and turn,
It's hard to sleep in peace,
So I keep looking up to see
If our moon
Still shines on me,
At least I'll have some company.
The night is long, and so lonely,
And so I tip toe cautiously,
To my window, anxiously,
I part the curtains, for to see...

Oh! There! I spy him, big and bright!
He’s watches over me through the night
His presence is a welcome sight.

I look to see if I can see
What moon sees
Looking down on thee.
And maybe a small glimmer of
The "looking" of the one I love,
(Perhaps you also look up high
To see what I see, in the sky?)
Sigh...
I lay my head back close my eyes,
And dream of holding you so tight.

But here I am, and there you are
As far away as Zanzibar!
Yet in my heart I'm in your arms,
When here meet, like men on mars

I jump into your crater car,
We drive and drive so very far,
And no one knows where 'er we are,
We stop for drinks at Pluto Bar,
And puff round smoke rings from cigars.

I'll meet you here, where ever you are,
If you’re near or if you’re far,
You don't need a rocket car
Just look up when the moon is high,
And so will I, my deary-pie

You won't need tons of rocket fuel,
Or fancy space gear, or power tools,

Just close your eyes, and open your heart,
Let love lead the way
To a faraway star.

I'll wait for you there,
If you're near or you're far,
On this full midnight moon,
Under heaven's bright stars.

I'll wait for you dear,
When the moon shines so bright,
(Take as long as you need, love,
I'll be here all night!)

Good night, dear one, good night.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Crept up through the drain

Crept up through the drain...


This morning when I woke the dawn
To do the stuff I do,
Like study, pray, dress kids, pack food
And straighten up each room,

I noticed something different
Something very new
I felt like you were hugging me
Although It can't be true.

It felt like softest butterflies
fluttering all about
Showering me with kisses, warm
All inside and out!

And when i got inside the car
To drive them all to school,
I felt warm hands upon my sleeve
So gentle, just like you!


I wondered if I'm going nuts
Is this what crazies do?
Or does true love cross space and time
To touch the hearts of fools?

Perhaps it is a bit of both
Perhaps I am insane
But I think love snuck in, back- door
(Or crept up through the drain.)
In any case...,
Love entered through some hiding place
And took over my brain!

I know just how my true love feels,
My soft and strong kind boy
Cuz when he's there my world lights up
With hope and faith and joy!

I'll never know if you sent hugs
Or if I am insane,
But this I know, and know for sure:
I hope you send me more!
( Of the same.)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

I'll always call you "friend."

I guess that you must hate me now
And think that I'm a witch
A gnarly wrinkled, nasty cow
Annoying, stubborn ....itch.

Oh my, Oh dear, what can I do
If this is how it goes,
(There's probably some truth to this,
Some things that I should know.)

But even if I am these things,
And surely I may be,
There is just one thing I can say:
My heart loves none but thee.

And deep inside my inner soul
This little bird soars free,
Not weighted down with sadness, hate,
neither blame nor jealousy.
.
And this you also know of me:

In every rose I see God's grace,
...The ocean roars his might,
I fee his love in sun's warm rays,
His faith lights up my night.


And if I need to leave you friend,
And can no longer hold you tight,
I'll leave you with sweet words of love,
To hold you through long nights.

And late at night when the world is asleep,
Just the stars hear me murmur and sigh
"Hang on, my love, be brave and strong;
And everything will turn out right!"

And they hear my whispered heartfelt prayers,
"Please watch o'er my previous dove
And please, dear God, send peace and light
And bless the one I love."

(And if someone tries to hurt me,
Or break me all in half,
I try to answer back with grace
I try to make them laugh!)

So if you need to hate me now,
To prove that you're a man,
Please know that I'm not all that bad,
Please, try to understand,

That I am human, just like you,
We have our highs and lows
It's part of His amazing plan,
To help us learn and grow!

And so...

Please send me, dear, one gentle thought
( No matter where or when)
And I'll send you my kindest thoughts
And always call you " friend."

For ever 'n ever,
Amen.

Friday, March 11, 2011

You fill the whole big world!

This empty aching in my chest
That stings behind in my eyes
With tears that threaten to erupt
If I don't hold on tight.

This gnawing burning in my gut
That fills me to the top
With sadness, shame, anxiety
And outrage that won't stop.

How can my small mind wrap itself
Around insanity?
How can I have loved someone
Who never could see me?

It's just incomprehensible
To think God wants my blood
Drained upon our bedroom floor
As I pray for it to stop. 

( Or Sprinkled on the alter of
Your concept of what's what,
A casualty in the " war for truth"
The price of being  "one.")

Well, now that your game's over, dear,
And mine has just begun,
Let me say just one small thing:
I think your concept's wrong.

And pardon me for saying so,
I truly cannot  judge,
But how could you have thought God wants
An offering of  blood?

And even if it's true, says you,  
I'm promulgating  pain
Insisting on resisting
Your attempts just to explain
 
The falsehood in believing 
That the things I feel are real
When you believe that all of it's 
Just noise between my ears. 

And holding onto fragments of
This fantom I call  "me,"
 Prevents my deconstruction,  which 
Must happen  to be free

I'm tethered to believing that my sense of truth is true
And I don't need to qualify, 
That's how I love you. 

And I know that all you wanted was 
Someone to  share your world,
If so  it might be kind of  wise 
To stop crushing this girl! 

You say I fight so long and hard
To keep my small eyes closed.
And if I'd just stop crying , then,
And do as I am told,

I'd see that your way's good for me,
If only I just changed
Then finaly I'd understand
That I am just 'deranged.'

You complain that I believe things are
The way they feel to me, ( not you)
And that you will not validate
What's 'patently untrue!'

And thus, my friend, you talk in circles
'till my face turns blue,
And everything comes round again to
How there's only you,

And your unshakable conviction that
Your path is pure and true,
And to be free, to shine like ME 
I  must learn to be you

But even if all that you say
and say and say again
Is true for everyone you meet,
no matter where or when,

All of this still begs the question:
How do you explain
How is it ok for you
to disregard my pain?

Do you think you own the rights to truth,
Do you think there's just one road?
Do you think you'll find enlightenment
In your bed, at night,
alone?

Who said that I must walk your path,
Who said that I agreed?
And who, pray tell, said its alright
To hound and threaten me?

Whatever happened , old friend, to the motto you once had
That nothing's worth the cost to you
Of giving up your path,
Your path with heart that tells you
To let go of holding tight
Relinquishing vindictiveness
And fighting to be right.

Wasn't it you who told me first
How conversations go,
First you share, then I reflect,
And then you say " that's so!"

And when it's my turn and I say
"I'm not like you, please listen,
I feel the truth inside my heart,
( That's how things are for  women")
And I need to hear that I'm alright,
(And not that something's missing.)

Then it's your turn to say "OK"
That you respect  my wishes,
Cause I'm just just fine how 'er I am,
( So long as I"m your Misses!)"

And if you say, that "never"
Did You EVER have your say
And never once, not once, you say
Did I do things your way...

I'll venture then a guess, old friend,
And challenge you to ponder
What's your payoff for believing this?
Does it justify your anger?

An anger and a loneliness
From long before we met
That you tried to fill with someone
Who could help you to forget,

How sad it is, and lonely
When you fill your whole big world
And there's no room left for anyone
And it's just not fair, you're sure,

And if only someone joined you
In your egocentric world,
And saw things just as you do, then
They'd be the "perfect girl."

To share the mythical existance
That you found,just you alone,
And you'd finaly have someone,
Join that world that's all your own.

And if only, oh! just only,
I would stop fighting so hard,
I'd see it's not "your world", you say,
It's just the way things are.

But let me ask you one small thing,
Now that you've made me you,
And I'm thinking of just of me, right now,
Like a wise man taught me to,

What exactly was it that
You sought, with heart and soul?
Were you seeking , then ,to use my pain
To fill Your empty holes?

Well, your world is pretty squishy, dear,
There's no room in there for me,
And even when you let me in
There's hardly room to breath!

I'm not playing this game, Darling,
I'm not playing anymore,
This isn't what my life's about,
And this I know for sure:

It's possible to love someone
Who isn't just like you,
It doesn't mean that you don't count,
Or that what you're say's not true.

It's just that every person
Has the right to be unique,
They. may be perpendicular,
Acute, obtuse, oblique

What matters is you love them,
And you live with them in peace,
And you learn to value differences
And learn to "speak their speak."

And when you do this kind of work,
You'll hear and plainly see,
That in this whole big crazy world
There's no one quite like me,

Who loved you and adored you,
And accepted you as you are
And tried to understand you
Even when you pushed too far. 

And all that I was asking
Was to be accepted too,
And loved exactly as I am....
Know what I think is true?

I think that if you'd done this,
If you opened up your heart
You'd have found the one your searching for:
(She's been there from the start.)

And you'd find the God you've pined for,
And you're missing long lost soul,
For in the loving of another,
You'd discover that you're whole.

I pray one day you'll understand
That two can become one:
Not by breaking each in half,
But by joining them both with love.