Sir Edward the Great
Gather Round dear welcome guests,
'Tis my honor to regale
This hall with a recounting,
Of the Great Sir Edward's tale.
Sir Edward ruled the British Isle,
His might renown over many a mile.
His valiant conquests
Were sung in far halls,
Brave nobles revered him...
(since they were quite small.)
And now for the recounting
Of Great Sir Edward's tale,
And all the hapless victims he
Did wantonly impaled.
Though merciless and slowly
Did he stab them through the heart,
Not a victim of Sir Edward's
Ever wished him to depart!
( For, While ancient lore
Boasts tales of gore;
Blood curdling screams of doom-
Sir Edwards victims always begged " Return Oh, Lord. - please- soon! " )
Perhaps it was his big strong heart
Perhaps some sorcerers trick-
But if you ask Sir Edward's foes,
They'll claim his....magical stick.
Now if ye list'ners wish,
To measure Sir Edward's worth
Measure him not in length or height
But in nobility, strength and girth.
Ye maidens all a-blushed;
Wan cheeks, pale as the moon,
Hide not , nor cast your eyes aside-
Nor cry, nor faint or swoon.
'Tis fact; ye dream of a noble death
At the hands of a mighty Lord,
Like Edward the Great,
For whom maidens all wait
To be slain with his great mighty ...sword.