The Tale of Sir Edward The Great

Sir Edward the Great

Gather Round ye honored  guests, 

For you I shall regale 

With recounting,

Of  the Great  Sir Edward's tale.

Sir Edward ruled the British Isle,

His  might renown  over many a mile.

His valiant conquests 

Were sung in  far  halls, 

Brave nobles  revered him...

(since they  were quite small.)

And now for the recounting 

 Of Great Sir Edward's tale, 

And all the  hapless  victims which 

He wantonly  impaled.

Though  merciless and slowly 

He did  stab  them through the  heart, 

Not  a victim of Sir Edward's 

Ever wished him to depart!

( For, While ancient lore 

 Boasts tales of gore; 

Blood curdling screams of doom- 

Sir Edwards victims always  begged " come back to me so soon! " ) 

Perhaps it was his big strong  heart

Perhaps some sorcerers trick- 

But if you ask Sir Edward's foes, 

They'll  blame  his....magical stick.

Now if ye list'ners wish, 

To measure Sir Edward's worth

Measure him not in  length or height

But in nobility, strength and girth.

Ye maidens all a-blushed; 

With your  cheeks pale as the moon, 

Hide not , nor cast your eyes aside- 

Nor cry, nor faint nor swoon.

'Tis fact; ye dream  of a noble death

At the hands of a mighty Lord, 

Like Edward the  Great, 

For whom ye await

To be slain with his great mighty ...sword.